Boundary...?

Dear Readers,

I've been thinking a lot these days...about totally everything in life...all of a sudden my thoughts just exploded in my mind and I cannot stop it anymore! I have felt there is something that I am missing in my life, something that I cannot see, something I have been avoiding all of the time! Maybe this is the reason to push myself to the edge every single time I can...

Actually, today I was thinking about boundaries, about all restrictions we have. Psychologists define boundary in the following way:

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits. (Source: Wikipedia)

Have you ever thought that we are all victims of so many limits in our life...time, flesh, space, rules, laws, other's requirements, family, love, work, our own boundaries? Sounds like we are living in a cage...On principle I know that we form our limits in the childhood as some way to define the world around us, to put some order in the chaos of information...few people remember the freedom of their children's years...when everything was easier and the curiousity was bigger than ever. So, why do we make ourselves prisoners of our own limits on the first place? I don't think that we have been capable enough as to create our vision for the world while we have been kids...it is kind of unserious to claim this! I believe that the only thing we achieve to create at this time is some psychological dramas. For example, I have very demanding father...he has always trained me to act like a boy (no crying, no spoiled reactions, no vanity). The only thing he achieved was to change me for a while and then to wake up my revolting side. I am an artist after all...I cannot be restricted of crying! And like it or not...I am a woman...so I am vein of course! To be honest...I become even more vein with the years just because somebody tried to put me in some limits! The worst part is that with this education I built a lot of walls around me...a lot of "must do", "mustn't do"! With the years I became cold, distant...then all of a sudden I just realized I should question all of what I thought I know about the world.

So, one day, I just woke up and I saw the sun rising in different way...I couldn't help but start thinking...Okay, how could it be possible to see the new day in a new way. If the day starts always the same and the reality is mathematically defined, then I should accept everything in the same way all of the time...Also, have you noticed that some people looks older at the same age as others? Or sometimes the time passes slower or faster...i.e...if the time is a subjective term and we can change our feelings about it...what is reality? Which is real? Or sometimes I think of myself one way...the other day - on the contrary! Not to mention that some people accept the colours as totally different colours than the other people...or even don't recognize it! And what about the term beauty, which is so subjective? I have also observed that if I ask ten people to describe me a dress (for example...but you can replace it with whatever you want to), I will get ten different descriptions. Then...what is the reality I am asking myself again? If the time is subjective, the colours are subjective, the nature is subjective etc...isn't the reality subjective too? This means that we are the one who are responsible for our reality! The only ones who have the right and power to change their life! So, there is no wrong or right then...Maybe we cannot reach our ideal for perfection because we follow too many restrictions, we close ourselves between a lot of walls...starting from our owns...to the walls that the others put around us! In this connection, I trully hate to hear "You mustn't do this!". I usually ask "Why?". You know what I receive as a response...either no answer or "I don't know...you just don't have to do it!". Ah yes...or some messed up explanation that makes no sense at all!

Okay, I know this is too alternate thinking but who cares? I can think whatever I want, right? I guess, dear readers, I sound insane! But I keep on asking...which is normal actually? What is the definition of normality? Who can put me in any limits?

I have to admit that I have my boundaries too (although I hate it) but psychologists would describe it this way:
Flexible - This is the ideal. Similar to selective rigid boundaries but the person has more control. The person decides what to let in and what to keep out, are resistant to emotional contagion, manipulation and are difficult to exploit.

Indeed, I accept world as a flexible reality...everything is possible...I avoid seeing ugliness...I avoid putting myself into limits...maybe this is too dangerous but it is exciting as well! So, what I wanted to say to you is: Just forget about the fucking limits! You can do whatever you want, be whoever you want, see whatever you desire!

Dear readers, please think about it...I know you can be creative...so, put your strenght in something that matters! There is no point to ruin when you can build...to kill when you can give birth...to cause pain when you can cause joy! A question of choice and it's all up to you! Your world is in your hands!

Wishing you sweet dreams and remember...Everything is possible!