Just thinking...

Dear Readers,

today was one of the strangest days in my life...I was again pushing myself to extreme emotions and feelings and I still cannot stop wondering how is it possible somebody to be extremely happy and just some hours later to turn into saddness.

To be honest, I am still trying to find myself into the new situation of my life. From one side, I see so many opportunities in front of me, so much time for myself and my own interests, so many things to do and so many friends to meet that I sometimes wonder what kind of life I was living while being into a relationship. However, from another side, sometimes I miss being part of a couple...you know the touching feeling to do something for somebody, just to see this person's smile, to know that you are not alone and somebody is thinking about you and caring about you, to feel yourself attached to something, not flying around without any purpose or direction.

I used to think that freedom is everything, independance is everything and I tended to believe that it is possible to keep this into a relationship and be happy with yourself and your partner but I started to get too much disappointment and believe that love between man and woman is not something that last forever. Or maybe we must really look for our soulmate...I don't know...I have heard that the opposites are attracting to each other but my life experience and observation claim exactly the contrary. Just think about it...if two different people are into a relationship, they are not looking in the same direction and their ways are too far from each other. So, one of them must be dominant in this case and break the other, change the other, force the other make compromises in order to look in the same direction and have common goal. I am not talking about being attracted by the unknown...yes, I am always attracted by the different, unfamiliar things but if we are speaking about person, then we must be very careful. Are we ready to change for the other? Are we ready to share this unknown world? Are we ready to understand it? Are we looking for somebody to understand us? Many questions we must ask ourselves before stepping into a relationship with the opposite. It's too deep and dark water and we can get lost...or...if we are the dominant and strongest characters...do we want to force somebody to follow us, do we want to change somebody, do we want to share our life with a mask and not with a personality...are we able to compromise in the sake of happiness?
By thinking about this I started to believe that love is more difficult than we can imagine...or maybe love is easy...the first emotion is easy, the attraction is easy...but turning love into relationship is the difficult part. How many of us have met the ideal partner? The one that makes us feel like we are ruling the world and we have wings, the one who gives us the pleasure to be alive and be loved, the one who understand us completely, the one who we understand completely? Maybe nobody has seen this phenomenon...but it would be so beautiful, don't you think?
Well, dear readers, I am tired and I don't feel more like writing...so, I am thinking to try to enjoy single life on the maximum level and wish me luck not to dive into big troubles :)