Beautiful Day...

Dear Readers,

I didn't expect to say that but I think I already enjoy the world...you know, I have been thinking so much, starring at myself, digging inside, looking for the truth! I have to admit that I have been denying for a long time that I am not the bitch I pretend to be! I have been trying to fill my emptyness with adrenaline, with pain, with the behaviour of a victim, with relationships but I discovered that this is not the way! I have the full power to be everything I need and I want to be and the one and only who can stop me is me! I know some of you believe that there is a path, or there is someone to judge you, or there is some rules but I have to tell you that the only rules you should trust on is your own rules! Forget about all the phrases you have heard, forget all about the limits you have been put into...just look inside and say "hello" to the real you!

I needed to try even stupid things, to push myself to extremes as to get back to the truth I have always known...I need nothing, no substances, no people, to enjoy life! Yes, I have to admit and open my heart...I would be happy to find somebody to love, somebody who can be my partner, not just boyfriend or lover but not in the way I was thinking before about this. I don't need this person's energy or sucking his life, or getting all of his attention! I just need to look in the same direction, to share ideas, to share beauty! I am tired of hating the world, of being disappointed, of being sad! I know it is kind of utopia to believe that I will be in the same mood all of the time...I know I can hear a sad song, or remember a beautiful sunset, or whatever and get sad again...get angry that I am not as happy as I believe I should be! However, I am sick of loosing chances just because I have to judge the world, just because I have to accuse people for not making me happy!Just imagine...it's stupid to think that the whole world made a conference to make the decision to make somebody miserable...it's a question of choice...if you will see the light or if you will see the darkness...it all depends on you and nobody else!

Dear Readers, I will leave you to think about happiness this time...don't take yourself too seriously...it doesn't help at all! Kisses to all happy people!